


Still So Strong

by Abboz



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Happy Ending, Mentions Of The Doctor - Freeform, Mentions of Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, Mentions of Clyde Langer, Mentions of Rani Chandra, Mentions of Sky Smith, Post-Series 05: The Sarah Jane Adventures, Reunion, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abboz/pseuds/Abboz
Summary: After so many years of him being missing in action, Sarah Jane had all but given up on ever seeing Harry again. Despite rebuilding her life since losing him, there had always been a big hole in it, and in her heart. Even with low burning hope of one day being reunited with her best friend, what she hadn't been prepared for was to find that the reason he hadn't returned was because he didn't remember her.
Relationships: Luke Smith & Harry Sullivan, Luke Smith & Sarah Jane Smith, Sarah Jane Smith/Harry Sullivan
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was born from a prompt I saw 6 years ago, that said something along the lines of, "What if the reason Harry never came back from being MIA was because he doesn't remember her, and each year on the day they would have gone to their favourite restaurant together [from the Big Finish, Sarah Jane Smith audios] he smiles, almost remembering her." Well I've deviated from that somewhat, but I've worked on this on and off since then, and whilst I'm not Russell T Davies, I'm finally posting this today as my tribute to Elisabeth Sladen, and Sarah Jane Smith. I think we can all agree that Sarah Jane deserves a happy ending, and having all of her found family safe would certainly be a huge part of that.

In a London nursing home, Harry Sullivan sat alone on a sofa. It was mid-morning and the television was on at a low volume, but it was left ignored. Instead, the man was looking at the empty seat beside him, mind elsewhere, fixed on something that brought a smile to his face. His primary carer, a young female nurse of twenty-seven, stood in the doorway watching him, waiting a few seconds more before she walked across to him.

The movement drawing him out of his thoughts, he looked up at her. "Hello."

"What do you dream about, Harry?"

The man paused for thought, sincerity beginning to mix with the love still showing in his eyes. "I don't know who she is, but she's so very beautiful."

A soft smile formed on the nurse's lips as she watched a blissful grin form on Harry's face. She wasn't aware that he'd had a wife, but then she knew very little of his life, and whoever she was, she was clearly immensely important to him, perhaps if not his spouse then a lost love from before the Alzheimer's set in. This woman was the only thing he truly remembered of his past though, even if he didn't remember her in full, and something about that gave the nurse hope that she just might be able to do something for this poor, kind man who was such a pleasure to care for. He was so sad, and she'd noticed before that when he woke and spoke of having dreamt, that he smiled more; something about whatever he dreamt of gave him life that nothing else did, and she dared to imagine that she could bring him happiness again if she could get this unknown woman back into his life. "Tell me about her."

"What?"

"Describe her to me. The woman in your dream."

"Dark hair. Brunette. Soft, warm eyes, unless she's angry. I've known her a long time, feels like forever. Can't remember how. She's clever, important…"

As he trailed off, the young nurse gently touched his arm. "Thank you."

"Why?"

She smiled to reassure him. "I'm going to try to find her for you, Harry, your beautiful woman."

* * *

That evening, her shift finished although she was still on call, the nurse sat at her laptop and began her task. In a fleeting moment of recollection, she'd once heard him mention something called UNIT, which she guessed was an acronym, and she'd established that he was a qualified doctor, so that was where she started. She entered the words 'UNIT organisation' into a search engine and started to skim read the results.

Nothing that seemed useful came up so she reconsidered her choice of words, trying synonyms and rearranging the order of words. She tried throwing in his name, on the off chance that he would appear on the company's website, or somewhere else where perhaps a colleague had mentioned him, but the term 'UNIT' was too common, so her search was still fruitless.

Sighing, she leant back in her seat, pondering over her next move. There was no way she was going to give up, after all she became a nurse to help people and this was the only way she could really help Harry. She could never begrudge him a few hours of her time if he could be happy again. In fact, she would give more than just her time to sooth his poor aching heart and bring some love back into his life, and it would be worth it all to see happiness in his eyes again, rather than longing.

So, reminding herself of her dedication, she refocused her mind on ways to discover more. A man like him, and a doctor, who was employed by an organisation with an acronym for a name made her suspect that at least once he may have been employed by a military division. It was certainly possible so she opted for a simple 'UNIT military' search, and to her surprise the first result told her something useful. UNIT stood for Unified Intelligence Taskforce, and it seemed just the sort of thing she could see Harry working for in his medical capacity.

Searching the site, she found a couple of contact numbers that she hoped would get her through to someone who had records of employees, so she wrote them down. As she investigated UNIT, she couldn't help worrying about the problems she could be facing; a military operation she'd never heard of before, what were the chances of them disclosing information as sensitive as the people they had employed?

Regardless, she decided to phone in the morning, perhaps they would prove useful after all, and in the meantime, she could explore other routes. At least she had a potential lead and perhaps a news article somewhere would help her find someone who knew about the organisation.

Half an hour later and she'd discovered a few old articles that mentioned a Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart in conjunction with some strange occurrences where the military had intervened, and she dared to hope that he was just the man she needed.

By then it was growing late, and in her job it was important that she rested, so she bookmarked a few of the web pages she'd found. As she shut the laptop down, she wrote 'Ask for the Brigadier' beside the phone numbers, figuring if that failed she could at least try mentioning Harry's name and then maybe they would let her through.

Plans made, she went to sleep.

* * *

In the morning, having ensured that those under her care were alright, and that Harry was sufficiently occupied, the nurse sat herself in the corner at a table with some paper and a pen. Dialling the number, she'd found for UNIT, she pressed her mobile to her ear and waited for an answer.

A young man picked it up, giving a standard welcome message, so she took a deep breath to compose herself and lower her expectations. "Hello, I need to speak to the Brigadier. Yes, Lethbridge-Stewart." There was a pause as she listened to the man tell her how members of the public were not allowed direct contact with him. "But…" She exhaled sharply, irritated. "This is important! It's about Harry Sullivan."

To her surprise, she was put through.

* * *

Sarah Jane was writing an article on her computer when her mobile phone rang. As the device vibrated on the table, she peered at the screen to see who was calling. The number was unrecognised, but a local landline, so after a second she answered. "Hello?"

"Hello, is that Sarah Jane Smith?"

"It is, who's calling?"

The woman on the other end sounded nervous. "You don't know me, but my name is Jade, I'm Harry's nurse."

Sarah felt her heart skip a beat, and found herself taken aback by the hope that welled up inside her, hope she hadn't known was still so strong. She hesitated, almost afraid of asking. "Harry Sullivan?"

"Yes."

"He's alive? Oh, what happened to him? Is he alright? Where is he? Is he safe?"

There was a pause before the nurse answered. "He's alright, safe. But I'm sorry, he's developed Alzheimer's."

"Oh. Oh no, poor Harry." She took a few seconds to take in the news. "Can I see him? Is that allowed? How bad is it?"

"Not so bad, it could be worse. He's still highly functioning as a person, he can take care of himself, work appliances and televisions and technology, he just… Well, he seems to have lost himself. Sadly, the things that are missing from his memory are the things that make a person who they are; likes, dislikes, skills, his career, childhood memories, experiences… his friends."

"But that's awful. What's he like then? Is he still the man I know at all?"

"I don't know, I don't know much about his life or what he was like, only what I found searching for you. But he's kind, caring, gentle. He never acts out and he's never violent. He apologises when he forgets things that we've recently told him. He's not like any other patient I've ever seen. He's a gentleman."

"That's Harry." She couldn't help the smile that broke through her strengthening tears. "Please, tell me where he is. I need to see him."


	2. Chapter 2

Sarah dropped everything, leaving Sky a text so she wouldn't worry, and drove straight to the nursing home. Greeted by Jade, the nurse ushered her through the corridors, explaining how a man named John Smith had brought him there a few weeks before and left means to pay for his care.

Though she wondered why their Time Lord friend hadn't told her he was there, and she very much intended to give him hell for it the next time they met, she pushed the thought aside so she could give Harry all the attention he deserved. If she was going to be there for him, she also needed to know everything she could about his welfare; after all she had never been the type to just let people suffer and how could she not help him of all people?

"Every patient is different, but I'd say there are two main types. There are the ones that don't know they've forgotten, the world's different, people are a bit less familiar, but they don't know why, that they're losing their memories. Whilst that's hard for their relatives, it's easier for them, if a bit confusing. But other patients know something's wrong, they feel their memories slipping away, and they hate it. That's Harry. I've worked here five years, cared for many different people, and I've never had a patient like him. I've never seen anyone so aware of his condition, there's nothing wrong with his mind other than the failing memory, but that makes it worse. He's not just lost who he is, he's lost all the bits that were made of the people in his life, the people he loves. It's not his fault but he blames himself, he really beats himself up about it. He's so sad, every time he can't remember something he knows is important you can see it killing him. And I don't know how to help him, I can't, but maybe you can."

She nodded, eyes filled with tears. "I'm going to try. He's done so many wonderful things, helped so many people, and he's so lovely, he's amazing, he doesn't deserve to suffer like that."

The younger woman couldn't help smiling at her affection; she was just what he needed, someone who really loved him. "I hope it's not rude to ask, I'm just curious because you're all he remembers. Who are you to him? What is it about you?"

She thought about telling her, after all this wonderful woman had done so much for him, perhaps she deserved even just a glimpse into their lives, but she couldn't, that wasn't fair when Harry had no idea. "He's my best friend, we've known each other decades; I love him and I'm all he's got."

* * *

"Hello, Harry." Sarah Jane stopped in the doorway to give him time to take her in.

He stared aghast at her. "You're her. The woman in my dreams. You're beautiful."

She clasped a hand over her mouth, unable to keep from welling up with tears. "Oh, _Harry_."

"What did I do? I'm sorry."

"No, no, no. Don't worry. I've just missed you."

He smiled. "I should think I've probably missed you too."

She broke into a grin and crossed the room to sit beside him. "Do you remember who I am?"

"Sss… Sss…" He shook his head. "I can't remember your name, I'm sorry."

"You were right with the S. My name's Sarah Jane Smith."

"Sarah." He tested it out, trying to see if it would conjure up any memories. The name felt warm and familiar, ever so precious, but something made him wish that second S had stood for Sullivan.

She nodded encouragingly. "That's right, you've always called me Sarah."

He let out a slight laugh, the sort of laugh she'd come to associate with the fondness in his eyes as he gazed at her. "Oh, look at you, old thing."

Sarah Jane froze, breathed deeply, then leant closer. "What did you just say?"

"I said 'look at you, old thing'."

"I thought so. Why?"

"It just felt right."

"Well that's what you call me. That and 'old girl'. I'm so happy to hear you say that."

He smiled, then gradually his expression faded, hinting at a frown as he gazed intently at her. She could have sworn he was begging for her help, she felt like somewhere in his mind he was screaming it. "Sarah, no one visits me. I'm really lonely."

"Oh, my poor, lovely Harry." Out of the whole situation, that was the thing that broke her, bringing floods of tears as she clutched him into a hug. "You're not lonely anymore. You've got me."

* * *

For hours, they just sat and talked, though mostly it was only her that spoke, Harry quietly soaking up every word, hardly taking his eyes off her. Since he'd gone missing in action, she'd always had so much to tell him, always wished he was there to listen, and to stop her feeling alone. It seemed like a cruel twist of fate that she would get the joy of his return tied up with half his mind lost to them both. It was certainly bittersweet to have him listening and yet still have to keep those secrets, without the memories of their lives and adventures, he would only think her stories a lie, a cruel joke mocking his condition. It would only hurt them both for him to think that of her.

For the time being, his voice, his face, his presence was enough, and she just talked, couldn't help herself, about nothing in particular. Though it wasn't exactly small talk, she had too much she needed to say to let herself ramble meaninglessly, Sarah was careful to keep away from anything stressful or that could strain his already suffering mind. Eventually there'd be no escaping those topics, but for now she just wanted to take comfort in him, and provide some in return.

"You know, S—" Harry screwed his eyes shut, trying to focus his mind.

"Sarah."

"Of course. _Sarah._ I'm sorry. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah." He began to grimace, forehead furrowing in pain. She saw Jade move as if preparing to calm him, but Sarah Jane shook her head to stop her. "How could I just forget?! Eugh." He dropped his head into his hands.

"Harry." She hushed him, gently placing her hands over the back of his and curling her fingers round his to pull them away from his eyes. "It's okay."

"No it's not."

"It is, I promise. I don't mind." She leant closer. "I'm happy to be patient with you. I'm not going to get mad or upset if you forget. You're my best friend, you won't drive me away with something so silly. I'm not going to abandon you, you'll see me all the time. Can you trust me?"

He nodded. "I don't know why, but I trust you with my life."

"That's because I've saved it. And you've saved mine. Harry, it's going to be okay."

He gently put his arms round her, drawing her closer to rest his forehead on her shoulder. "Thank you. I am trying."

Rubbing his back, she cradled his head in her palm. "I know. I'm so proud."

* * *

Once night had fallen, Sarah could no longer deny that she had to go home. She'd been thankful that there was no problem in her staying beyond the normal visiting hours, but she had a home, children, and even though Sky could look after herself, she was expected home.

Just for one day she wanted to be selfish, stay with Harry, forget that people needed her, that the world needed her; it felt like he needed her more. It came as no surprise to her that the tears in his eyes as she broke it to him, made her feel, just for a moment, as if decades had disappeared, like she was looking at a young Harry Sullivan the first time he'd said he needed her one night after risking his life to save her. It was odd that after such an upset childhood, all those years of fighting and never quite knowing why it was always her who lived on, that that was the moment she pinpointed as the first time she understood. Standing there with him was the first time she felt she'd had to survive; no longer pretending, she knew she was irreplaceable, and she had always known that had never changed with him.

"Sarah, please don't go."

" _Harry_." She lifted her hand and began to stroke the curls just behind his ear. "It's just for the night. I'll be going straight to bed, and I'll be right back in the morning. We can even have breakfast together if you like."

"But, if you go I'll forget. I don't remember without you, old girl."

"I think you remember more than you know. It just takes a little time and patience to draw it out."

"And it takes _you_. Please stay, don't let me forget."

"I can't stay at such short notice, I'm sorry. But I will see if I can stay tomorrow. And, Harry, trust me, I am sure that when you wake up you will remember more than you did this morning, and then I will come back and we'll talk more and you will remember even more."

Closing his hand round hers, he squeezed it tight. "I still don't want you to go."

"I know. I don't really want to either, and I know it's scary, but we've fought off worse. Eight hours, then I'll be back, and you'll be sleeping for at least six of them, probably seven."

"Then can we spend all day together?"

She nodded eagerly. "Of course." She leant closer to him, making sure he was holding her gaze. "Harry, please don't worry; I promise to come back. I'm not going to leave you lonely again. Come here." She wrapped her arms around his middle and held him tight, relishing in the way he cuddled her to him. They stayed intertwined for a few minutes, until Sarah reluctantly removed herself. "Goodnight, Harry."

He pulled her back to him, pressing a firm and lingering kiss to her cheek. "Goodnight, Sarah, old girl. Thank you ever so much."

"You're welcome. I'll see you in the morning." She kissed his forehead in return and then headed for the door, forcing herself away before her mind inevitably gave in to her heart and made her stay.


	3. Chapter 3

Jade greeted Sarah at the door the next morning, ushering her down the hallway to where Harry was waiting. "He was asking about you last night."

"Yeah?"

"Asked when he was going to see you again."

"I told him I'd be back tomorrow."

"Sometimes those things slip his mind, but he remembered your name. He's already missing you when you're not here. But he's so much happier when you are."

"Well you keep telling him that I will be here every day unless I say otherwise. He means the world to me."

She nodded. "I see how happy you make him, I'll do whatever I can to help. I just want him to feel better."

"Me too, so I'm really grateful for your help. I hope you know, you are really good at your job."

"Thanks." She smiled, gesturing towards the common room door where he was waiting. "Go on, call me if you need me."

"Sarah!" Harry grinned, rising from the sofa in such a rush that his arms were around her before she could even shut the door. "You came back!"

She smiled softly; whilst his excitement was utterly endearing, she couldn't help thinking that with all his memories intact he wouldn't have doubted that for a second. "Of course. I promised you I would." She kissed his cheek. "Thank you for such a lovely greeting though."

"Well I missed you."

"Oh I missed you too. Why do you think I came here so early this morning?"

His mouth fell open in awe. "For me?"

"Yes for you. Give me time and you will never doubt that again." She reached for his hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. "Now what shall we have for breakfast?"

* * *

Sarah dropped herself onto the sofa beside her friend, grinning at the blissful contentment that had worked its way across his features over the past hour.

"You truly are incredibly beautiful."

"Oh, Harry, you have no idea how much I've missed you."

He swiftly reached out to cup her face, thumb sweeping across her cheek. "Don't cry, old girl."

"Happy tears; I'm happy."

Smiling, he felt his eyes start to water, beginning to match hers. "I really mean as much to you as you do to me, don't I?"

She beamed, nodding. "Yeah. Yes. I know you spent so long feeling alone and that no one cared but I do. I can't understand why he didn't tell me."

"Who?"

"Our friend, that brought you here. If I'd known I would have been here the day you arrived, I really would have, you must know that. Harry, you are my best friend, I absolutely adore you."

Cuddling her close, he kissed the top of her head to placate her tears. "What made us so close? Will you tell me how we met and about the time we spent together, the things we did? I think maybe I could manage to remember a little if I had something to jog my memory so to speak. And what with you being the only thing that stuck in my mind, I should imagine that you are the key to getting the rest to stay put too. I would really like to try, I want to remember more about you, and working with you. I'd like to be able to close my eyes and picture you there."

She turned her head, ear pressed over his heart. "You're so sweet. Of course I'll tell you. Ask me about whatever you want, anything. First, let me tell you how we met."

* * *

Later that day, the pair lounged on a sofa together, Sarah nestled into the corner, her feet up on Harry's knees. She was surprised how well he was taking it all in his stride, so relaxed and leaning back with one hand resting on her ankles. Minus the extra grey hairs, and a few more lines on his face that reflected his suffering, he looked the same as the last time she saw him before he went missing; you almost couldn't tell what was going on behind the blissful smile. "Harry, tell me about what you're going through, what it feels like, how hard it is, anything. It'll help me to help you."

She noticed the flickering instinctive shake of his head. "Sarah, I..."

"Look at me." She picked up the hand in his lap. "Nothing's going to chase me away."

"It wouldn't be fair."

"But I asked; let me take some of the weight off those shoulders. Let me help."

He sat, for a few seconds, and just watched her, hand quivering uncontrollably so his thumb tapped against her calf. Eventually he turned his head away, but as her touch stilled the shaking, he gave in to her will all the same. "Some days, I'm okay. Most days... well it feels like I'm drowning in it. Some days I've wondered if it'd be worth making it to the next morning, others I've thought it doesn't matter when it's not going to let me get that far anyway. You were like a hand that reached down and pulled me to the surface." Bringing himself to meet her gaze, he noticed the tears pricking in her eyes. "Sorry."

"I love you."

There he was, shaking his head again. "Sarah."

"No; I love you." Gathering him to her, she kissed his brow, then temple, then brow once more. "You are the strongest, bravest, most amazing man I've ever met, and do you know how I know you're tougher than this?"

"How?"

"Because you're the only man I know who was shot in the head and _survived_."

"I was shot in the head?" She nodded tentatively, watching him contemplate the revelation. "Is that why I can't remember?"

"No, no. That was years ago, years. We were so young. I remember when I picked up that phone and they told me you'd been shot. I was so scared." A slight smile escaped her lips as he caressed her cheek to relax her. "And then seeing you lying there, that bandage round your head, of course I was relieved that you were alive, but I was still scared. I was terrified you would never wake up, that I would never hear your voice again, that maybe I had taken you too much for granted for the time we'd had."

Harry tilted his head. "Now I don't need to remember it to know you absolutely did not. You would never do that."

With a grin, she caressed his cheek, fingertips tracing along his jawline. "And then you woke up. You said my name. Even though you were confused and tired, you were so happy to see me. That _smile_. You made me feel so much better in an instant. I was still worried but _so_ happy because you made me so happy with just a smile and my name on your lips."

"I should think it meant everything to me that you were there when I woke. I can't think of a better sight to wake to. I'm sure you were a calming presence too." He smiled at the proof he could touch her heart so easily. "Thank you for telling me that, old girl."

"Every story I tell helps a little more. It's helping already, and I'm going to keep sharing."

Laughter filled his breath with utter joy at her loyalty. "Sarah, honestly I think it's rather impressive what we have achieved together, and I can't even remember most of it. Just imagine what we will do in the future."

"Like restoring your memory?"

He nodded. "If you think so, then I believe you."

* * *

"Is that an H?" Harry reached towards her, touching the pendant of her necklace with his fingertip.

The evening was drawing in, and Sarah was half asleep, the travel time and late night following two days of battling to prevent an alien invasion had left her drained. Even the excitement of their reunion couldn't completely overcome the exhaustion, but it was more than enough to keep her there beside him rather than heading to bed.

He didn't mind her head resting on his shoulder, that she used him to prop herself up, as support to prevent her from succumbing to slumber. The weight focused his mind, made his skin tingle; for the first time that he could remember he wasn't the invalid, his mind lost, being pitied and cared for. He was needed, equal.

"Yeah. H for Harry." A smile began to form on his face as she nodded against him. He gently held the letter in his hand, rubbing it with his thumb. "You bought me it."

"Yeah?"

"Said it was the perfect way to keep you with me when you were away; you'd be close to my heart. Look at the back."

He peered closer, turned the pendant over, and grinned as he saw what she meant. Engraved in the tiniest lettering was a message. "I love you. — Harry."

She nodded once more. "I love it so much."

"I'm glad, only I wish I could remember giving it to you, remember the look on your face when I did."

"I know." She stretched her arm out across him, running a soothing hand up and down his side. "But I'm going to help you piece your memories back together, I promise."

"Oh, I hope so."

"You and me, alright?"

"Of course." To focus his mind on more positive things, he let go of her necklace to thread his fingers between hers, pressing his cheek against the top of her head. "You and me, Sarah, always."

* * *

Harry's nurse was incredibly kind, Sarah thought as she lay curled up in bed. Even after all the effort she'd gone to in order to find her for him, the young woman had arranged for a camp bed to be placed in his room, making provisions for when Sarah wanted to stay the night with him. After such a long time of missing him, she felt blessed to be able to lie there watching him, his arm bridging the gap between their beds so he could hold her hand in his, resting it on the edge beside her.

As she watched, he twitched slightly which made her smile until it happened again and he started to panic in his sleep. He squeezed her hand increasingly tighter, heading slowly towards a crushing force, and she jumped out of her own bed to sit at his side. "Harry." She tried to squeeze his hand back but didn't really manage it. "Hey, it's alright, wake up." He didn't, tossing his head a little, and the pained expression that had formed on his face scared her. "Harry Sullivan, look at me!" She cradled his cheek, hoping that contact would be enough to wake him. "It's me, Sarah, I'm here."

Eyes opening wide, he clutched his stomach as if he was about to curl up, but then his gaze focused on her. " _Sarah_. Oh, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah." His hands reached up to cup her cheeks and he lifted himself slightly, desperately seeking a way to be closer to her. "Oh, my Sarah, old girl, you're here, you're here."

Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him the rest of the way upright and simply held him to her for a few minutes. "Yeah, I'm here, I've got you. You're safe." Gradually the tension left his muscles, his touch calmed and the strength of his embrace softened. When he was ready, she let him out of her hold but kept one hand in his and the other on his cheek to provide reassuring contact. "Harry, are you alright?" He nodded, so she felt safe to look a little deeper into it, provided he could remember. "Does this happen a lot?"

"It feels strangely familiar."

She frowned and tried to hold back tears that wanted to match his. "What did you dream about? What was in the nightmare? It wasn't me was it?"

"It was a creature, one from another world, and it attacked me, it was trying to kill me, it had already almost killed you but I stopped it, but when it went for me, I woke up."

She couldn't help making the connection with their travels and wondered if he was reliving a memory from then, one that was much more traumatising with so little memory of his life accessible to him. It was likely that their time on the TARDIS had at least played a role in forming the nightmare. "Harry, you're safe with me. In the morning I think I can help with the nightmares, make them go away, and hopefully for good, but for now just trust me, I'll keep you safe."

He smiled, and the way he looked at her as he did made her feel instantly assured. "You make me feel safe."

"Oh, Harry." Stroking his hair, she kissed his temple. "You big softy. You really know how to make me feel loved." A broad grin having spread across his face, he tugged her back into him, cuddling her tight. She sighed with contentment and squeezed him back, no longer concerned about sleep. " _Oh_ , I've missed you too."

* * *

Just after breakfast the next morning, Sarah was taken aside by Jade; the manager of the home wished to speak with her, and immediately fears welled up, wondering what it was about Harry that she could have to tell her. Could it be that life had yet another cruel twist to throw at her, that he was getting worse by the day and she was so late that she was about to lose him once more?

She had to take a few seconds alone in the hallway just to breathe, to ground herself and prepare her heart for what she could be about to hear. It felt silly that for the past two days, since seeing Harry again, her entire being had felt out of kilter; her heart leaping for joy whilst the rest of her struggled and crumbled and lost its usual resilience. It was maddening, and yet she almost didn't care, it was only moments like this, when everything was at risk yet again, that it mattered. All she wanted was nothing to pull them apart ever again, he deserved that; she was almost sure that she did too.

"I need to talk to you about Harry." Sarah could only nod. "I know you care about him, and I can see that you love him, but I need you to stop telling him that his memories will be restored. Alzheimer's doesn't work that way, Ms Smith."

For only as long as it took to cross her mind, she wondered if it made sense to feel relief at such a request. "Only he's not like any other Alzheimer's patient, all the nurses here have said that. And I believe they will."

"It won't happen, you're just building up his hopes when he's just going to keep forgetting. It's not fair on him."

"If he's going to keep forgetting then what does it matter what I say? You don't understand how happy it makes him when I say I'm going to help, when I talk about reminding him of things. He's already happier, and he already remembers more. It's only been a couple of days, but he remembers my name when he didn't before, he remembers the nicknames he has for me, how we met and he remembers so much more than he even realises."

"That doesn't matter, it won't last."

"Maybe it will. He really trusts me, trust that you wouldn't believe, and that gives him faith, he's really trying, and he's really fighting this now. Because of me he has a reason to fight, and I know he can do it. I know _we_ can do it. I appreciate your concern, I expect Harry would too, but I won't stop telling him that he will remember because I'm not lying. I will help him, even just a little." She paused, and when the manager couldn't find the heart to rebuke her again, rose from her seat to return as quickly as she could to the dining room, to her dear old friend.

"Sarah?" In just a split second, Harry saw the hurt on her face. He stood and walked across to her, peering at her with concern. She wasn't looking at him, staring distractedly at the wall instead, and the frown she was trying to conceal tore at his heart. "Sarah, old girl, what is it?"

She snapped back to reality, turning her gaze to meet his and smiling. "Oh, oh no, don't you worry, Harry." Touching his cheek with a comforting caress, she gently shook her head to reaffirm her words.

"I want to. Let me help, I care."

"I know you do." She beamed and tugged him into an embrace. "I'm alright."

He simply held her for a few seconds, and tenderly kissing her head above her temple, ran his fingers down to the tips of her hair. "Please tell me what it was. I know I'm not well but you don't need to protect me like that. I can still listen, I still care, and I hope I can still help. I want you to feel like you can share these things with me. I don't just want the smiling, laughing, comforting you. Sarah, I want everything."

She withdrew just enough for her watery eyes to meet his. "They want me to stop telling you that you will remember again, to stop promising to help you restore your memories. But I won't. I swear we can do this."

He nodded. "Because I've got you."

She smiled. "The reason I wasn't going to tell you wasn't because of your condition. Sometimes people think that because you're missing some memories your opinion doesn't matter, they don't care what you think and that's horrible, it's not fair and I bet it hurts. I was just trying to protect you from that. But I don't want that to be me, I respect you, I care, and if they won't listen to you then I'd like to be your voice. When I get a say in your life, I'm going to fight your corner so if I ever don't listen then you tell me off."

He nodded. "Of course."

After a second, she settled back into his embrace. "And thank you, you've always been brilliant at comforting me. I needed this."

* * *

"What, you believe me just like that?"

"Yeah." Harry broke into a grin, laughing under his breath. "I mean, why wouldn't I?"

"I come out of nowhere and talk about aliens and time travel and spaceships and you just believe me?"

"Yeah I've seen the news; there's no doubting aliens exist." He leant forward. "No, you come out of nowhere, all smiles and beauty, telling me you love me and I'm your best friend and making me remember, and I believe you because everything you've just told me isn't the craziest thing I've heard this week."

"Hey, hey, hey." Sarah grabbed his hand, pulling it to her in the same motion. "You deserve my love, all of it."

"I hope so; I just don't remember."

"Well I'm working on making you feel it."

"I know." He nodded repeatedly, the movement slight as he kept his eyes on hers. "It's not your fault. I told you I believe you and I do believe you love me. There's a lot in my life that doesn't make sense, that's fuzzy and confusing and overwhelming, but not that. You're here and putting up with me when you've got a whole world to protect, and a family to look after on top of that."

"You're my family, you were here first, and you're the one that needs me right now."

"Sarah, I might not understand why, but all those wonders of the universe within your grasp and you're choosing me? I see, I feel that you love me."


	4. Chapter 4

Three days later, Sarah arrived for her visit with a large bag in hand. Finding Harry immediately distracted by it, she swung both arms behind her, breaking the line of sight. Once he finally gave her eye contact she lowered the bag to the floor, grinning. "Don't I get a hello?"

"Sorry." He pulled her close, clutching her smaller frame to him. "I missed you. I'm so glad you're here and I really missed you."

" _Hello_." Sarah leant up to kiss Harry's cheek, placing her hands on his waist as he hugged her. "You give the best hugs, you know that?"

"Shh." He gave her a squeeze, coaxing her to give in to his embrace and wrap her arms around him fully, happily letting her chin drop onto his shoulder.

"So, umm... you know how much I care about you? Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days about how I can help you." She noted how he chose not to respond, but then he didn't exactly enjoy talking about his condition. "Last night, I had an idea. I've brought you some of your things and I thought we could spend the day going through them together. They're things that really mean something to you, so I think they'll trigger memories."

"I really hope you're right."

Sarah leant her head against his for a second. "Shh, I know. Remember I've got you."

"Thanks." He squeezed her in gratitude. "I just need a minute. Thank you for being my strength, for keeping me afloat."

She grinned as she raised her hand to his face, easing them enough apart to look into his eyes as she caressed his jaw. "It's your strength. But I promise I won't let you drown."

At that, he kissed her forehead. "Thank you. So, what did you bring? Show me."

Sarah bundled him onto the sofa, the bag at their feet. She delved inside, pulling out a garment and pressing it into his hands for him to familiarise himself with it. "First, I wanted to return this to you."

"A jacket?"

"It's your favourite."

"Yeah?" He smiled, pulling the blazer on over his shoulders and letting her fasten the buttons.

" _Yeah_." She nodded, beaming back at him with sheer joy at such a familiar sight which she'd missed so very much. "You've actually got two. You took great pleasure in the way people thought you could miraculously keep it clean. The other one is in the wardrobe in your flat. This one you took with you, when you went away on that mission, it was what you were wearing when you left me." She lifted her hands to his upper arms. It felt incredible to feel strong muscles beneath the navy garment, warmth seeping through where for so many years she had felt nothing but the odd damp spot from her tears. "You left it behind when you went out the day you went missing." She drew him a little closer with a curl of her fingers, looking up at him to ensure he could see her emotion. "So they returned it to me, with a picture you'd taken with you too and your hat, and I kept it in the wardrobe, kept it safe even when I had to flee and leave it. Sometimes I'd put it on, or just held it, because it's warm and it smells like you, still did after all this time. It was the closest I could get to a hug or cuddle."

Harry cupped her face in both hands and leant a little closer. "Sarah Jane, I am so sorry."

"No, no." She gently held his face in her palms too. " _No_. Even though I didn't know what happened, still don't, I knew it wasn't your fault. I knew you would never just abandon me. I didn't tell you that because I wanted an apology, I told you because I want you to know how incredibly loved you are, and how incredibly missed you were." She softly kissed his cheek. "And I am so relieved to be able to give that blazer back to you; it was nice to have but it's _nothing_ compared to having you. I was so scared I'd never look into these eyes again."

Folding her in his embrace, he tucked her head under his chin. "And I know I have gaps, but I also know that I was terrified of never seeing you again. I was miserable all alone without you."

She closed her eyes, running her palms right up his spine and then back down again, continuously repeating the action at a slow, soothing speed. "See? That's a memory."

"Not a good one. It's you I want to remember. More at least."

She nodded. "We're getting there. We'll get there."

"Oh my beautiful old thing, how do you put up with me so soppy all the time?"

She gave him a squeeze. "Easily. I missed you, I'm just glad you're here. Plus the hugs, I love the hugs."

"Me too. And I love you more. I love you, Sarah."

Tilting her head up, she pressed a kiss to his jaw. "Can we leave the rest of your stuff for now? I want to stay right here."

"Okay." Harry kissed the top of her head. "Just for a bit though; I want to see what you brought, hear the stories."

"I know, and you know I won't deny you that."

* * *

As they prepared some lunch together, Sarah considered that, despite his faults, the Doctor had at least chosen an exceptional place to take care of Harry. His nurse had gone far out of her way and beyond her duties to help him, and the care was flexible to suit the extent of his abilities; she suspected that if he had lost all his independence this ailment would already have broken him.

They ate leisurely, chatting between bites of their sandwiches. Sarah intentionally let Harry control the conversation, listening to what he remembered of his time at the home, and the occasional tiny moment from before he went missing, but so far not one word about the years he'd been lost.

She wanted to ask him what he remembered of his time away, though given his situation her better judgement told her that would only be pointless and painful. Nonetheless, she expected that he wanted at least a hint to what had happened, and probably even more than she did, but for now she had decided to commit to restoring what she did know.

"Just bear with me, I've tried to pick out things that would be most familiar or that you valued most. I thought they'd be what you'd want to see."

"What, like I wanted to see you?" Harry grinned as she rolled her eyes. "I am glad you brought these things for me. I don't really have anything here."

"But you've got plenty at my place and I'm here. I know sometimes it might not feel like it, but there's a lot to who you are. You're not just a man missing his memories; you're a naval doctor, a lieutenant, a genius, a wonderful friend, a hero who's saved lives, the most important man in the world to me. You're loved." She took his left hand, sweeping her thumb across his fingers to the fourth. "You haven't lost everything, far from it, you are so loved."

"Thanks, old girl." He leant towards her. "So let's get to work, I want to see that, know it. I don't want you to have to tell me who I am."

Sarah smiled. "I'm not going to stop reminding you what I think of you; that's not special treatment, just you being my best friend."

"Shh. Show me. Show me what's next." Obliging, she delved into her bag of treasures, producing a hand sized black box and opening it up before him. "A watch? Mine?" As she held it, he reached out to touch the shiny timepiece, stroking the gold frame.

"Go on. It's yours."

After just brief glance at her face, he took the watch from her, fastening it round his wrist. "It's... It's beautiful. It almost brings something to the front of my mind. I can't… It's something happy, a bright day I think. Where did I get this?"

She smiled. "I bought it for you, it was a present."

"What for?"

She ran her hand along his forearm to close her fingers around his. "For a very special day."

"Thank you, old girl. And thank you for keeping it safe for me."

Beaming, she squeezed his hand. "Well you left it with me. You love it so much, you said it was too precious to take away with you in case it got damaged. So before you left, you put it on my wrist, even though it's too big, and you said…" She exhaled, expression softening as she gazed at him. "You said, 'Don't worry, old thing, every second that passes is a second that's bringing me back home to you.'"

He leant forward on his elbows, smiling back at her. "You are so beautiful."

Sarah laughed. " _Harry_!"

"I mean it. So, so beautiful. The way you smile when you talk about these things is enchanting, to see how happy those times make you."

She mirrored his action and leant closer too. "It's not the past or the reminiscing that makes me so happy. It's you." She reached across the table to gently cup his cheek. "It's always been you."

Placing both hands over hers, he pressed her skin firmly against his and closed his eyes. He leant into her touch, smiling, and then opened his eyes. She was gazing back at him, her head tilted a little to the side, and she was beaming with adoration. " _Sarah_."

"Are you alright?"

He nodded, enclosing her hand in both of his and kissing her knuckles. "I'm fine, old girl. I'm more than fine. Just trying to soak you in a little more, make sure this is committed to memory."

" _Oh_ , oh, Harry." Getting up from her seat, she walked round to him and wrapped her arms around his head, cradling it against her and planting kisses in his curls. "You are _beautiful_. You are the most beautiful man I've ever met."

Leaning into her, he tilted his head up to look into her eyes and smiled. He curled his arm around her waist, using his hand on her side to hold her there, and then flexed his fingers to give her a slight, encouraging squeeze. "Come here."

Unable to resist, Sarah kissed his temple and let him draw her into his lap. With her now almost at eye level, he pressed a kiss to her cheek in return, and then sat happily gazing at her with an expression that was tense and yet warmed her heart. He'd raised his right hand up to her head, fingers twisting and stroking and caressing in amongst her dark brown tresses. With a gentle smile, she moved her hand to his cheek. "What?"

Harry blinked a little longer than normal before his lips curled into a smile to match hers. "Thank you."

There was laughter in her breath as she shook her head. "What for?"

"For treating me like a human being. For being first and foremost my best friend, above the caring you do. For still being comfortable around me."

She tilted her head sympathetically. "You're still my Harry." Waiting a few seconds, she let that sink in. "We're rather lucky in a way; even though there are things you don't remember, you still act the same, you still speak the same way; the same old English that I love. You're still as affectionate, you still cuddle me the same, you still—" She took a breath and slowed herself down. "You still look at me the same way you always have." Even though she could feel her eyes watering, she was intent on holding his gaze. "The way that makes me feel like I am the most precious thing in the universe, the way that makes me feel loved and beautiful and like I can do literally anything and I'll never be alone. The way that makes me look right back at you with awe and love, because I know I am _so so_ lucky to have you."

He clutched her to him, face pressing into her neck and inhaled deeply. She could feel him smiling against her, grinning wide and using the hand on her waist to squeeze her. "I am never going to forget that, old thing, never, I promise."

Cradling his head again, she tenderly pressed her lips to his forehead. He'd once made a similar promise to her, or rather he'd made many variations of the same one, always promising it forever, and even though he could not remember, he had kept it perfectly. "I know, Harry. I know." She tilted her head forward and leant it against his, taking great pleasure in a private, peaceful moment in his arms.

* * *

Two days later, oddly it was Jade that greeted Sarah that morning, not Harry. She had already grown accustomed to seeing his grinning face before her as the door opened, and his arms wrapping around her, his large frame feeling like protection from the whole world, a haven. He'd always greeted her, it hadn't even crossed her mind that one day he might not.

"He's having a bad day today."

The sadness showed in her voice as she spoke. "Why?"

"He can't say, but he's miserable, won't get out of bed. I managed to get him to get dressed but he climbed straight back in."

"I'll talk to him, he'll be okay." She eased the door open, peering in at her friend. "Hello, Harry." He didn't tell her to leave, remaining curled up on the bed, so she stepped through and shut herself inside. "It's just you and me, it's alright." Sitting at his bedside, she smiled as she reached out to stroke his hair. "Look at me." She sighed. "Trust me, Harry, your old girl."

Opening his eyes, he held her gaze. "Oh, Sarah."

"Tell me, what's upsetting you?"

"I've forgotten something important."

"That's okay."

"No it's not."

She frowned. "Why not?"

"There's something important today, and I've forgotten."

She beamed. "Oh, but don't you see? The fact that you know you've forgotten it means you've actually remembered it."

"But I don't know what it is."

"Well that's okay, because I do."

"What?"

"It's my birthday."

For a split second he smiled, but then went straight back to looking disheartened. "So that means I forgot to buy you a present."

"No." She shook her head. "You were babbling to me yesterday about how you'd got the perfect present. You were so excited."

"But today I forget."

"Harry, it's okay."

"No it's not. If I forget something so important, then how long will it be 'til I forget you again?"

Her expression softened, of course that was what it was about. "But you didn't forget me. Okay you forgot some things, the things people say are important, names, places, jobs, but you remembered what's really important. You remembered my face, the things you love about me, how important I am to you. That means more to me, you made me feel so loved."

"Really?"

She nodded with a gentle smile. "And I really, really want to spend my birthday with you." She pressed a soft, lingering kiss to his forehead. "So how do you feel now? Do you think you're up to a day at mine? Would you like to meet Luke, Sky, Clyde and Rani?"

Slowly, he nodded back. "Of course I would, if that's alright with you."

"Yeah of course it is." She grinned, running her fingers through his hair again. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't want you to, or I didn't think you were ready. And it will be okay, everything's well prepared; they know who you are, what you mean to me…" She swept her palm across his cheek. "And what you're going through. They'll be kind and patient, and we'll have fun. But if it gets too much, if you start to feel upset, I'll be there and take you somewhere quiet. I'll look after you, I promise."

He propped himself up with one hand, then reached out to pull her to him, face pressing into her neck. "Thank you. You have no idea how much I need you."

Laughing, she pressed a kiss to his hair. "About as much as I need you, so just relax."

"Oh, and happy birthday, old thing."

* * *

"Shh, I've got you; everything's okay." Sarah swept her fingers through Harry's hair, huddled with him as they sat on her bed together. "Everything's okay, I swear."

"I know." He screwed his face up, she caught it in her palms, desperate to coax the aching away with her touch. "But sometimes I can't make myself feel it."

She nodded, unsure if he was really looking at her anymore. "Yeah, tell me about it." Her hands dropped to the bed beneath them, but when she went to curl her fingers in the covers, she found him putting his hands there instead. "I get that too."

"I'm sorry; I don't mean to be a burden, especially today of all days."

Catching his gaze, she smiled. "I love you. For all those years, every time I blew out a candle you were what I wished for; to have you safe, to have you here. This year I've got you. You're not a burden, you're the best present I've ever had."

Sniffling, he threw an arm around her shoulders, tucking her against him as an apology. "Thanks for bearing with me."

"Always." She settled her head against him, letting him hold her until he felt better.

It was a little cut short as the door eased open and Luke popped his head in, prompting the friends to untangle. "Sorry, I just wanted to see if you were alright."

Harry nodded, though not as convincingly as he wished it could be. "I'll survive. Thank you for putting up with me."

The younger man shook his head, a broad smile creeping its way across his face. "We've had fun."

"I also mean for how I've practically stolen your mum for the past couple of weeks."

As he shook his head the second time, he made sure it was more definite. "You make her really happy."

A little dumbfounded, the elder man stared at the teen, eventually coming back to himself and turning his gaze on the incredible woman still steadfast at his side. She was grinning, as if purposefully proving Luke right, and gently pulled him near to kiss his forehead. He closed his eyes, sighing. "I try."

"We just want you to know that we're not judging or pitying you, we just worry when there's a problem. It's been really great getting to know you today."

"And I feel the same with you all. Your mum talks about you a lot; especially you and Sky."

"Come on." Sarah squeezed Harry's hand, it still held tightly in her lap. "Let's go and have some cake."

* * *

Late that night, having taken Harry back to the home and with her children asleep in bed, Sarah made her way up to the attic, sitting herself down on the steps before her super computer.

"Mr Smith, I need you."

The gears and electrics whirred into life as the Xylok opened itself before her. "How can I help, Sarah Jane?"

She leant forward, her elbows resting on her knees. "All the hundreds of spaceship databases you've scanned, I don't suppose just one of those far-flung species has a cure for Alzheimer's?"

"Would you like me to check?"

"Yeah... please."

"Alright. Just a few seconds. Searching. No matches found."

"Not even part of a cure?"

"No matches found. My records seem to show evidence that this particular ailment is not found amongst other species."

"Yeah, sounds about right." She rested her head in her hands, rubbing her eyes to placate her exhaustion just a little longer. "I knew you were going to say that before I even asked. It's just not fair, he deserves so much better, he doesn't deserve to suffer like that; he's a good man."

"My data shows no correlation between those who develop the disease and their personality traits."

Sarah balled her fingers into a fist, scrunching her hair up in the process. "Yes I know. I know it doesn't work that way. Just monitor medical news for anything about a cure, or treatment, and let me know anything new."

"Understood, Sarah Jane."

Gradually she lifted her head, watching the colourful shape rotate on the Xylok's screen. "Honestly, I just wish I could do something to help."

"I believe Mr Sullivan would say that you already do by loving him."

"And I do, but it's not enough, is it?"


	5. Chapter 5

By the Saturday morning, Sarah was feeling completely under the weather. She was developing a fever, felt fatigued and since waking up that morning had a throbbing headache. She was pretty sure her sinuses were blocked, and frankly had no intentions of doing anything but huddling under her duvet. She was just grateful that this had fallen on days when Luke was still home, he could keep an eye on anything Mr Smith reported, and it meant Sky had someone to look after her; she could take the time to recover, her family around her, all safe. When she woke a second time, around mid-morning, she was surprised to see her bedroom door steadily easing open.

"Harry?" She looked at him in surprise, asking the same thing she'd been asking for years when waking up ill or wounded. But all those times she'd been merely hoping, wishing for something more than what her eyes were telling her, this time she was seeing what she'd spent so long wishing for. "What are you doing here?"

"I got Jade to bring me."

"Why?"

He laughed with disbelief that she'd needed to ask. "So I can look after you."

She smiled. "You didn't need to do that."

"Yes I did."

Exhausted and overwhelmed, she couldn't find the will to do anything more than hold his gaze. " _Oh_."

"I love you."

She sighed with contentment. "I love you too. I've missed having you to look after me when I'm ill. Luke does a good job though."

"Good." He beamed. "I've brought you some water and toast, and I can get you some painkillers if you want." He picked up the glass and offered it to her.

"I think I'm alright, thank you." Taking a few long gulps of the water, she exhaled deeply as her slight headache began to dissipate. Once finished, she handed the drink back to him.

"You are so beautiful."

With a soft laugh, she reached out to touch him. "Are _you_ alright?"

He nodded vigorously. "Yeah. Good day."

"Good." Her eyes drifted a little shut, so Harry drew the covers further over her.

"You're tired. You should rest."

"Will you stay?"

He nodded his head once more. "Sure. Would a cuddle help?"

"Oh, no." She tenderly touched her fingertips to his chest. "No, don't make yourself ill."

In a heartbeat, he'd closed his hand around hers. "I have a tough immune system, but if that happens, you'll just have to look after me. Until then, I want to look after you. Trust me, I'm a doctor; human contact, body heat, the touch of your loved one, it all helps."

Her smile grew, he was so sweet and she didn't have the strength to argue despite her desire to protect him. "It would be nice."

She let him climb into bed beside her, happily complying as he drew her into his arms, resting her head on his chest and then tucking the duvet round her. "That's better, old thing."

"Harry? Shh. Sleep."

He kissed the top of her head in acknowledgement. He knew it wasn't exactly an invitation to fall asleep too, but the comfortable intimacy of her slumbering form in his arms, her head over his heart and the warmth of her skin on his, made it all too enticing not to.

* * *

"Mum?" An hour later, Luke put his head round the bedroom door, peeking in to check how she was and finding her curled up to Harry. He was awake, reading a book with one hand, the other wrapped tightly around her sleeping form.

"Luke?" Drawn to by the sound of her name, Sarah blinked to adjust to the light, and in doing so looked up to catch sight of Harry above her. Her eyes widened and eyebrows raised, mouth dropping open as she caught her breath. "Oh." She cupped his cheek, coaxing him closer to kiss his jaw. "Thank you for coming to take care of me."

He laughed under his breath. "Of course. I love you."

She settled back against him, tucking her head under his as her eyes drifted shut again. "I love you too."

He closed both arms around her this time, kissing the top of her head. "She'll be alright, Luke. Let's just let her sleep for a couple more hours, then we can make her some lunch. I think she's tired more than anything else." He gave her a squeeze. "I don't think she sleeps enough; worries too much, about you and Sky, about everyone, this whole planet, and now about me."

"You heard her, she loves you. I'm sure she sleeps better knowing you're safe. She worried about you more before, worried about where you were, if you were still alive."

He nodded. "I know she was scared. I'm almost sure that I was too."

"You know how happy you make her, she wouldn't be without you. She loves you and I know the worries don't matter compared to that; I don't see how they ever will."

He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head once more, focussing on having her close to placate his own concerns. "Well maybe I need to teach her to look after herself."

The boy tilted his head, sympathising with the elder man. "I think if she was going to learn that she already would have by now."

Harry nodded. "Then maybe I need to make sure I'll always be there to do it for her."

* * *

Three days later Sarah had finally recovered, having spent her time huddled on the sofa with a blanket over her, curling up with Harry as much as possible. His warmth and the comfort he provided had served their purpose and more, soothing her soul and helping it begin to recover from all the traumas she'd gone through since her best friend went missing.

Though his help had been entirely voluntary and he insisted on reminding her how much he'd enjoyed looking after her, she sought to reward his care by looking back at more memories with him through photographs. Having gathered together her photo albums, Sarah coaxed him to sit with her once more, talking through each picture as they turned the pages.

"I recognise him." He pointed to a man in a khaki army uniform, dark hair and a moustache, peaked cap upon his head. He stood one side of Sarah, Harry the other, all three smiling at the photographer. "Did we...? I feel like we worked with him."

"Yeah." She nodded, eyes crinkling at the edges as she beamed at him. "Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart; he's an old friend, we've known him about as long as we've known each other."

"Is he still around?"

"Yes." She grinned even wider as moisture began to pool in her eyes. "He gave Jade my number; you must have mentioned something because when she was looking for me she found him and he was over the moon to hear you were alive. He made sure she would bring me to you."

"I'm so grateful."

"Me too." Sarah leant her head against his shoulder. "He called me last week, asked about you, asked if he could see you. I said I'd ask."

Harry looked down, away from her. "Could we wait until I'm at least somewhat better, remember more? I don't want anyone else that knew me to see me like this."

She reached across him to grab his hand, rubbing his knuckles with her thumb. "You're still you. I'll tell him not yet but I know he's just happy you're safe, happy for us both."

He threaded his fingers between hers to concentrate on her touch. "Tell him the no is not his fault. Tell him thank you... for the number."

"I have, but I'll tell him from you too."

* * *

A few hours later, the pair were in Harry's room, his bed was far more comfortable than the sofas in the common areas, and there they couldn't be overheard so they could talk about absolutely anything. Sarah, still a little worn out by her illness, had almost fallen asleep, her head tucked into the crook of Harry's neck. Her impending slumber pushed him to finally broach a subject he'd been putting off for a week, the last few days had been a welcome delay for that at least.

"Sarah, can I ask you about something?"

She smiled, looking up at him as she felt him turn his head towards her. "What have I told you?"

"That I can ask you anything."

"Exactly, so go ahead."

"It's just that, well I have scars, physical scars." Her consistent, calm and unfaltering gaze instilled enough confidence in him that he managed to hold his nerve despite the fears simmering under the surface. "I don't know what you know, if you've seen. It's such a strange thing for me to look in the mirror at them and have no idea how I got them."

"Yeah, I understand that."

"I wondered if there was any chance you would be able to tell me anything at all about them, if you could do that for me."

She nodded, momentarily dumbfounded as she sat up properly. "Yeah, you showed me, and told me about them."

Relief flooded across his face at her words. He reached for the top button of his shirt, undid it and then pushed the neck of the garment past his right shoulder. "What's this from?" Running his index finger along beside the scar, he followed the arching remains of a long-healed wound.

He noticed the long exhale and softening of her smile. As her delicate fingertips traced the mark too, he purposefully held his hand over hers, just to keep her there. "Oh, Harry, that one you got saving me."

"I did?"

Sarah nodded. "Pulled me out the way of certain death, and were scarred in the process. I felt so guilty but you always swore you were so proud of that line over your shoulder, because you saved my life."

His eyes watered. "Well I certainly feel proud of it now; so glad I have it."

"It wasn't the only time your ridiculous stunts for me left a mark. Here." She unfastened the shirt the rest of the way for him, baring his chest to her.

For just a flickering moment he thought he saw surprise cross her features before she disguised it. "I exercise, it distracts my mind." The fact that that made her close her eyes, though only for a second, intrigued him.

"You saw. I wasn't looking at your muscles, I was looking at these." Lifting her hands towards him, hesitantly she pressed her left hand over the remnants of a cut below the right side of his ribcage, the fingertips of her right hand brushing over the dark round scar on the opposite side. "I've never seen these before."

He looked down at her hands and then lifted his eyes to her face, watching the worry and sorrow grow. "What happened to me, Sarah?"

"I don't know." She shook her head, and finally the tears she'd known were inevitable fell. "But I know somewhere in there you do."

Harry shook his head back, and despite his best intentions, couldn't stop a few of his own tears escaping. "I don't."

"You know that your scars are beautiful, right? Every one of them tells a little story of how you were stronger than whatever left its mark. It reminds you that you survived all of that. I love them, I never tire of their beauty."

He gathered her to him, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "In that case, I am proud of them. Thank you."


	6. Chapter 6

Sarah wrapped her arms around Harry to cuddle his head against her, the action swift and instinctive, effortlessly placing his ear over her heart. It was something they'd recently grown accustomed to, her natural reaction to finding him distressed on her arrival, and though his pain filled her with sorrow, she welcomed the intimacy after being apart from him.

She was getting worried though; whilst he always welcomed her with open arms and affection, she'd been finding more and more frequently that he was upset or strained. It had grown to him needing comfort with half of her greetings, and she feared for his well-being when, in addition to that, distress would sometimes be induced at later points in their meeting too. Though he was always reassuring her that she made him happy, she felt doubts creeping in that she brought enough joy and comfort to counteract the effects of his condition. On more than one occasion she had wished to take his place.

"Sarah?" She forced her thoughts aside to focus on his voice, and opened her eyes to find Harry wide-eyed with concern, bringing his face up to hers as he cupped her cheek. "Sarah, are you alright? Why are you crying?" She smiled; she hadn't even noticed, and there he was all attentive and tender and anxious. Before she'd met him she hadn't known it was possible to be like that and it never ceased to astound her; he was pure love. "Speak to me, old girl."

"I'm fine." She nodded just a fraction, aware that she was still staring at him in awe, and yet unable to stop.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

Still, he leant closer and she was surprised there was still space between them. "Please tell me."

"Alright, but please don't blame yourself."

He frowned. "Now I need to know."

"Sometimes I find myself wishing we could swap places."

"Why? I would never wish this on you."

She nodded. "I know. Because I know you would be able to cure me, whilst what I know about the field, from you, isn't close to enough."

"I had a cure?"

"No. But you were so integral to curing so many diseases, and some you did practically all by yourself, that I know you could stop this. And I know you'd never give up, for me."

"Alright." He nodded to make it clear he was listening. "For what it's worth, Sarah, I believe you will cure me. Even if it is just through perseverance and patience, and _love._ "

" _Oh_." Beaming in adoration, she caressed his jaw with both hands. "Oh, oh, Harry."

He smiled back, relieved to see her happy again. "And then maybe we can find a cure for everyone. Together."

* * *

When Sarah arrived to see him the next morning, Harry didn't even notice; so engrossed in the book he was reading that it was only once she pointedly cleared her throat that he looked up at her. "Sorry, Sarah, hello. Let me just get to the end of the page."

"What are you reading?"

"Oh, your book." He angled the publication so she could see the cover. "Your first anyway; L-L-Lu..."

"Luke?"

He nodded. "Luke gave me them yesterday. I hope you don't mind."

"No, of course not. I'm glad you two have been getting along."

"Amazing boy. They're all amazing, but him and Sky especially. I notice them making the effort with me, for you."

She shook her head. "For you."

He smiled, letting her convince him just for a moment. "And you're an amazing writer."

Sarah dropped down onto the sofa beside him, leaning into his side. "You've said that many a time before, but thanks."

"So, then I've read this before?"

"Yes, and the next, but not the most recent. There's plenty of articles that you haven't either."

She watched as he stared at the book, eyes filling with tears. Extracting his fingers from her work, she curled hers between them. "Hey, what?"

"Don't..."

"Huh?"

"Just don't tell me it doesn't matter."

She nodded. It didn't make sense but throughout their struggle with this, what he needed he got. "If it matters to you, it matters to me."

"You'd think I'd remember this. You'd think it's a big enough part of you that I'd remember, that the words, which you composed, would stick."

"I don't think it works like that. It's just random, and cruel for it. I'm so sorry, but you know I love you and I'll always come back."

He pulled his gaze from the text on the pages before him, and let it drop to the crown of her head. "But maybe tomorrow I won't know. Neither of us can guarantee that this time the memory loss has stopped."

"Then I'll come back, and I'll tell you again, every day." She kissed the back of his hand, as if her touch could sooth his imagination.

"But, so what else have I forgotten that's important? That's bigger than your books, bigger than my career, than my parents' names? Than yours?"

"Shh." She began to rub the inside of his arm. "I wish I could, but I can't tell you that. I still promise to never stop trying to make this better. I promise to try to find, or bring about a cure. And I especially promise to try to love you enough to drown out all these fears."

"Sorry, Sarah." He placed a peck of a kiss on her hair. "It's not your fault."

"I know." She hushed him once more. "Don't apologise; I'm glad you can open up to me. I love that you trust me, I really cherish it."

"I never said, but I'm glad you were the one thing I did remember. You were the right thing to remember. I love you for being the person to make me feel that, for whatever it was that meant you stuck in there."

"Thanks, but I think it was down to you that I did, not me. Now, come on, forget just the page, finish the whole chapter."

* * *

It was around 11:30am that Harry's mobile rang. He was sat in the armchair in his room, whiling away his morning by reading Sarah's second book, a mug of tea in his left hand. Despite everything that had befallen him lately, he'd never felt so much like an old man than in that moment. Some small part of him was content with that; since Sarah had shown up there'd been a lot in his life to love, plus she came with so much enjoyable excitement, but he did at least remember that there were elements of an average, quiet life he had always wanted. He'd felt glad to get one day full of domesticity but it didn't quite manage to bother him that it would be interrupted, not when it meant he had Sarah.

"Hey, Harry, it's me."

"Hello, old girl."

"I just wanted to let you know I'm not going to be able to get to you as early as I'd like. We've got some work things to take care of, but I'll see you for dinner."

"Everything alright? Do you need me to come and help?"

Sarah grinned. "No, we're fine. Shouldn't be a problem. Like I said, we'll be done by dinner time."

"Let me know if you need anything."

"Okay, well I'll see you soon, 6pm."

"I'm looking forward to it, Sarah."

"Me too. Before I go, you're okay, right? Don't forget how much you mean to me; I am sorry about this. I know we were supposed to spend the day together, but needs must as you would say. I truly want to be there right now, but I'm excited to take you to our favourite restaurant later."

"I know, it's okay. Make me proud, and just be careful. Please make sure you stay safe."

"Oh, Harry, I will. I love you too, you know? I've gotta go, bye."

* * *

It was actually at 5:37pm that Harry saw her car pull up outside his window. Only seconds later, just as he reached the door and opened it, Sarah came flying through it and incidentally straight into him. Taking the impact in his stride, he wrapped his arms around her as if he could shelter her from whatever she was running from. "What's wrong? Is everything alright?" She didn't respond, her chest heaving against his in a bid to recover; from panic or exertion he didn't know. Nonetheless, he just held her, kissing the top of her head. "Please tell me it's not the end of the world."

"No." Finally, she moved, shaking her head and extracting her arms to hug him back. "I'm so sorry I'm late."

He laughed, watching her smile at the way it felt against her ear. "It's 5:40, you said 6:00. I call that early."

"No, I was supposed to be here earlier, but work got in the way, I'm sorry."

"Hey." He stepped back from her, clutching her shoulders instead. "I know how much you love me. No doubts. I'm not annoyed or upset, just proud. And glad you're safe. I know why you worry, but so far at least, the love is staying put."

"Good." She pulled him to her, dislodging his hands as she kissed his cheek. Her eyebrows creased as he turned away from her touch, and found him looking at his palm.

"Sarah, your arm's bleeding."

"It is?" She twisted to look, but before she could see he had begun to lead her to the living room, supporting her by the waist until he could sit her down.

"Relax." He brushed his hand over the top of hers on his way out in search of a first aid kit.

The added concern on his face when he returned with medical supplies told her that as she'd suspected he'd had to get a nurse to find him the bandage; the delay had irritated him. Though she understood their reasons, it still somehow felt silly; he was a surgeon, and she at least knew he hadn't forgotten how to help people. "I'm okay."

"No, you're not." Using a cloth and a bowl of water, he started to clean the wound. It wasn't such an emergency that she needed to go to the hospital, but even she would agree that it wasn't just a scratch. "What happened to you? This is why _I_ worry."

It astounded her, the speed with which he could go from overjoyed to so worried he could almost cry. "I know you do. I'm sorry."

He shook his head, but finished cleaning and covering the wound in silence. With the bandage tied, he leant against the sofa back, exhaling deeply and welcoming her with open arms as she rested her head against him. "Get some rest."

Ignoring him, she tilted her head back a little, turning to meet his gaze. "Do you wish you were out there with us?"

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I know what I'm doing."

He nodded. "But you put yourself in danger and I just sit here and try not to worry."

"If I didn't do this, the world would have already ended."

"I know. I told you, I'm proud."

"So, yeah, you want to be out there with me?"

"It's my job to look after you." She could actually see his tears forming before her eyes and it hurt. "But I can't."

Taking his right hand, she squeezed it tight. "You do. You don't have to be out there fighting to do that. I feel you with me when I'm out there. With you in my life I am better looked after than I've ever otherwise been. You patch me up. You rush to my aid when I feel ill. You remind me why I do it, you did even before we were reunited; to keep you and everyone else I love safe. You cheer me up, make sure I'm eating properly. You always know when I need a bit of affection, or the contact and warmth of a hug. You love me so truly and deeply that I forget what it was like to ever feel alone."

"Is it selfish to feel like that's not enough? One day it might not be just a cut; one day I'll be losing you and so far away that I don't even know."

"You do keep me safe. I love you for wanting to protect me. I don't know what else I can say but that we'll work on something for you to help even more. I don't want you to feel like you're not."

"Thank you." He rubbed her arm. "Now rest, at least for a few minutes, we have some time."

She nodded. "I'm so glad that I get to be here with you today."


	7. Chapter 7

A few days later, just as Sarah arrived home from a visit, her phone rang. She hadn't even made it to the front door, but once she fished her mobile out of her pocket and saw the caller, she climbed back inside her car before answering; it was Jade. Harry's mood had crashed, he was inconsolable, his head in his hands, eyes squeezed tightly shut as he dug his nails into his scalp, mumbling her name amongst words they couldn't quite hear. They couldn't get him to move and didn't know what to do short of sedating him, phoning her was a last-ditch attempt before they had to resort to it. She drove straight back.

"Hello, gorgeous." Beaming, Sarah Jane climbed onto the bed beside Harry and drew him closer to kiss his cheek. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm ever so sorry, old girl."

Laying her hands over his, she waited for his grip to relax and gently pulled them into her lap. "It's okay, that's what I'm here for."

"No, I'm sorry because this is beating me."

" _Oh_ , don't say that." Wrapping her arms around him for a moment, she kissed his shoulder then rested her head against the same spot.

"It is."

She shook her head. "It might feel like that but it isn't, because you're so much stronger than it."

He screwed his face up, agitated and fighting himself. "Just listen to me! I can't do this anymore!"

Her brow furrowed, she sat upright, making him look at her. "I am listening, so explain, tell me. Tell me, Harry, _please_."

"I can't go on forever forgetting, it hurts too much." He tore his gaze from hers, turning away so he wouldn't have to see her heart break. "I'm sorry. It's too hard."

"Harry." She laid her hand on his arm.

"Don't." He pulled away from her touch, collapsing onto the bed so he lay with his face pressed into the pillow. "I am sorry, old girl."

For a couple of seconds, she sat with her hand over her eyes, holding back her tears to keep them inaudible, then, with a soft sigh, she reached out and comfortingly swept her hand through his curls. He didn't even flinch, so reassured, she rubbed his shoulder and curled up to him, half lying on his back to increase their contact. "Please don't give up, for me. I know it's hard, and I know I don't know how it feels or how much it hurts, but I believe in you with everything I have. I really love you, and even though it kills me to see it killing you like this, I need you to keep going. I thought you were dead before they told me you were here, and that nearly killed me, I couldn't bear it if I lost you now because you lost the will to live, because I didn't do a good enough job of making you happy. How about I stay here with you tonight, cheer you up? I've got to make sure you're safe. Just let me help. Don't give up, please, I love you."

She heard him sniff, and when he moved she worried he was shrugging her off, but then he eased her off him and turned over to cuddle her. "I'm sorry, Sarah."

She shook her head, vision blurred by the tears that were flowing down her cheeks, but she didn't care just as long as she could get through to him. "No, no, no, no, no, please. Harry, no. Look at me." Palm resting on his cheek, she gently coaxed him to look her in the eye. "I am so proud of you. You've been so brave, and strong, and I need you. Don't give up, when you feel weak have faith in me, believe in me. I'm your old girl, your old thing, and I love you. _I love you_." Lifting herself up, she leant closer, using the hand cupping his cheek to guide her lips to his and kiss him.

For a couple of seconds, he just stared at her. "You kissed me?"

"Yes. Harry Sullivan, I love you."

"And I love you."

"And love is worth fighting _everything_ for."

He blinked once, twice, and not knowing what to say, let the tears run down his cheeks. "Stay?"

* * *

Some time later, in the early hours of the morning, Harry woke to the sight of a tearful Sarah Jane watching him, her thumb stroking his side. He reached out to brush his knuckles across her cheeks and wipe the moisture away. Closing her eyes, she leant into his touch, grateful for the contact and affection as he then tenderly ran his fingers through her hair. "Sarah, how long have you been there?"

"All night."

"How long have you been crying?"

"All night."

He watched her for a few seconds, frowning more prominently. "I'm sorry for breaking your heart, old girl."

Softly shaking her head, she held his gaze. He looked pained and she'd seen that so many times before but rarely quite like that; he was thinking of nothing but her. "You haven't. But it would if I lost you, and it would if you gave up. We can still fight this, I believe we can beat this, Harry, if you just trust me."

"I do." He cupped her cheek. "And I trust you wholeheartedly with this, I will never stop fighting as long as I have you fighting by my side. I am so sorry for scaring you, for hurting you." A broad smile spread across her face as she shook her head again. He sat up, leaning towards her to pull her closer and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you."

* * *

By morning, everything was calm; Harry had scooted over so she could join him on the bed, letting her comfortably watch over him. His head had dropped on to her shoulder as he fell asleep, and before long, with her hand in his and her worries easing, she too had drifted off.

Later, as the sun rose, Harry awoke once more. Finding Sarah beside him, he shifted up the bed to gather her in his arms, trying to let her soak up all the peace she could get before reality set back in.

Eventually, she stirred and looked up at him with a soft smile which he returned with a kiss to her forehead. "Thank you for staying."

She shook her head. "I didn't want to leave you last night."

"And thank you for saving me again."

Her breath caught in her throat a little. "Always." Searching his eyes for what to say, her gaze dropped for just a moment before getting caught in his again. "Always; I love you."

"And I'm an idiot. But I love you more than I used to think it was possible to love someone and I know that I love you even more than I know."

She'd thought herself all cried out but there was that moisture forming again. "You're not an idiot; I don't blame you for being sick and desperate for it to stop, and I don't blame you for being scared of that feeling. I actually love you for telling me."

Wavering his head from side to side, he lifted his hand to her cheek. "Sarah..."

"It's true. Feeling what you felt last night, that's okay, that's not a problem because you let me in and let me make you feel better. You trusted me with your secrets and your deepest fears and I love you so much for that."

"You do?"

She nodded vigorously. "I do. So just promise to always trust me like that and we'll be okay."

"I promise. Of course, I promise."

With that, Sarah grinned, cupping his face in her hands and planting a kiss on his lips. "I love you."

"Come here." Harry pulled her closer, coaxing her to rest her head on his shoulder. "Let's stay here forever."

"I wish we could."

He chuckled, the sound resonating in her ear. "For a little longer then."

Nodding, Sarah closed her eyes, welcoming the silence, the peace. But quieting her mind was something she'd never got the hang of, and once again it would not calm and she could not pause her desperation to think of a way to help him. She couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps they had reached the point where he needed her to act and save him, truly save him, more than the company and friendship she'd brought which he labelled the same.

It kept playing on her mind, like a series of clues her subconscious had already solved. It bothered her that between the lapses in his memory the more time she spent with him the more he seemed to remember, and not just of the things she'd witnessed and recounted to him. In fact, she wondered if it wasn't Alzheimer's that he was suffering from but something else, and if she was right then surely something in that cluttered attic of hers could help him.

If she could just get Mr Smith to examine him then perhaps she could at least discover what it was they were dealing with; if she was lucky, and life had taught her not to count on that, she might even have a contact that could put that knowledge to good use.

For her to even begin to help him, the first challenge would be to get permission to take him home. With him being at his worst the night before, that would be no easy feat, but perhaps being the only one that could calm him would be enough for them to trust her.

It took her a while, explaining the familiarity and the quiet and the change of scenery, assuring them that he just needed a little love to change his outlook and how she hoped that the change would be far greater than they would ever expect.

After promising to report any problems straight away, relieved to get the permission she wished, she left the office and headed to Harry's room, knocking before she opened his door.

He turned, dropped his book and ran across to her, sweeping her into his arms as he kissed her temple. "Sarah."

"Hello. How do you feel?"

"Alright. Better. I missed you."

"Oh, you too. And Harry, I thought today you could come and spend the day at mine. How do you like the sound of that?"

"I _love_ the sound of that." He beamed.

Sarah reached up to cup his cheek. "Good, because I think I know how to help you."

He watched her with interest, brow slightly creased. "You are helping me. Sarah, before you came here, I couldn't even remember your name."

"But you're still forgetting things, and not recalling others, and, oh, I know it upsets you, I can see it hurting you every day. I want you to be happy and I don't want to lose you, I couldn't live through that a second time."

Tears in his eyes, he brought his forehead up to hers. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know. It's okay. But clearly you need your memory restored."

"The only thing I need is _you_. You get me through every bout of pain, old girl."

Her eyes flooded with tears; he was always so effortlessly sweet. "I'm glad. I try. But I don't want to see you suffer anymore, Harry, so trust me. I'd never hurt you or put you in danger, you know that."

"I trust you, and if anyone can fix my mind it's you."

Pulling him closer, she kissed his forehead. "If this doesn't work, you have got to stop blaming yourself and hurting yourself like that. I know it's tough, and I can't really understand what's going on in there, but I love you, and whatever you forget, I won't forget that."

"I know." He rested his forehead on her shoulder. "I'm just scared."

"Me too a little." Cuddling him close, she stroked his hair to comfort him. "Well let me see what I can do, then I'll tackle your fears."

* * *

The journey home was a quiet one. As Sarah drove him through the suburban, London streets, Harry reached over to put his hand on her leg in comfort. The contact drawing her gaze to his, she gave him a smile before returning her attention to the road.

"I'm going to be okay."

"I know."

It was the first they'd spoken in the ten-minute journey; it was clear on her face how anxious she was, and he'd been trying to work out something to say to lift her spirits after such a long night. He wished he could do something for her in return, even just the gesture of driving her for a change; but even if he'd remembered how, he wasn't allowed.

"Anyway," she added after a pause. "I told you that first, didn't I?"

"That doesn't mean you don't need to hear it right now, or need to know that I believe it anyway."

Sarah put her hand over his, held it there for as long as was safe. "Thank you."

"Please don't bottle it up, what you're feeling, what you're thinking. I know you're used to it, even with the children. I know I left you on your own for so long." He noticed her glance at him. "Even though I didn't mean to, I did. But I'm here now. I love you and we're in this together. What's the plan, old girl?"

Knowing he deserved the same honesty he'd given her, she started to explain the things she'd noticed, the way her observations had begun to play on her mind, even more so after the way the previous night had played out. For most of the remaining drive he just listened, only cutting in for clarification or to show her he understood. He had her talking so he didn't want her to stop.

With Sky at school, the house was empty, so their conversation continued uninterrupted as she led him up the stairs to the attic. Then, when they reached the middle of the room, she fell silent. Looking up at the wall, she felt a hand settle against the small of her back and turned into his touch instead. "Harry, I really need you to trust me."

He tilted his head at her, confusion crossing his features. "I do. You don't know that I do?"

"No, I know, but if I'm going to help you, I'm going to need you to exercise that trust."

"Of course, whenever you need me to."

"Great." With a nod, she took his hand, squeezing it in her palm. "So, my super computer, you know he's more than just a computer, and I've not just been wondering whether what you're going through isn't Alzheimer's. I've been wondering if it could be something else, maybe not even something medical. What if something happened when you were missing in action that caused your memory loss? Not a random, cruel misfortune but targeted. And targeted because whoever or whatever you went out there to stop was desperate to stop _you_."

"Why? What would they achieve?"

"A man who can't remember who he is, or his life, also can't remember his skill set or his mission, or even how to get home. We certainly know that."

"I'm sorry." He cupped her face so he could reach to kiss her forehead.

Sarah shook her head. "I want to look into that theory; you're not showing the right symptoms for what you've been diagnosed with. You're remembering better than ever and it's not meant to work like that; and you're still you as if all of it is in there."

"And what does the Xylok have to do with this?"

"I wanted to get him to scan you, especially your brain, and maybe we can work out what it is and maybe that would mean we could… well, cure you." She looked up a little more, right into his eyes. "I don't want to lose you."

He hadn't seen hope like that in a long time. "I won't leave you by choice. I love you." She nodded a little erratically, all of a sudden losing her voice a little after so much rambling. He wrapped an arm around her in comfort. "Will it hurt?"

"The scan, definitely not, if there's a cure, I can't promise anything."

"I'd do it either way, I don't know why I asked. I want it all back, my memories, my freedom, my life. I want this to be my home, I want all of you, Sarah, every day."

"This _is_ your home... Don't you feel home?"

He nodded. "Come on." Tilting her head up with his thumb and finger, he pressed his lips to hers. "Let's not hang around, old thing. Let's set up this scan, bring me back."

* * *

"So, it's a parasite?" Sarah touched the base of Harry's neck, rubbing her fingers across his skin as if she could feel it there.

"A parasite is organic. He said it's metallic, like it's manufactured."

"An implant?" Her brow creased and he stepped forward, cupping her face to kiss that spot and relieve the tension.

"Correct," the Xylok chimed in. "The technology appears to originate from the planet Mondas."

"Cybermen? It was the Cybermen? They're the ones that did this?"

"Hey." Harry drew her hand off his neck, curling his fingers between hers. "It doesn't matter who. All that matters is getting rid of it."

"How can you be so calm after everything this has put you through?"

"Because I'm okay. At least it wasn't one of those Cybermats, that would have killed me."

"But you're not okay, Harry."

He smiled, drawing her close to kiss her forehead, then held her there, noses almost touching. "Then because I'm not thinking about what I lost, or what I missed out on. All I'm thinking about right now is that you love me and I want to fix this for you. So please help me fix this."

"And I will, of course I will, but don't you want to know why and how it works?"

"Yes. You know that." Harry swept his fingers through her hair, drawing it back from her face. "Right at this moment I just want to get rid of it, I want to remember." Wrapping an arm around her to tuck her into his side, he turned his attention to Mr Smith. "So how do we get rid of this? Can you deactivate it?"

"The device is not currently receiving a signal, the transmitter appears to be offline, however I cannot modify the implant remotely due to the proximity to your brain, there is nothing more I can do to safely deactivate it without further equipment."

"It could receive a signal?" She twisted to meet his gaze. "Like a...?"

He nodded. "Like an order. And then the transmitter was destroyed so no more orders, except it was still there blocking off part of my brain; skills and desires and memory and..." The reason mattered more than he'd thought. "They were blocking the areas that combine to give free will."

"Leaving you lost and scared."

"I want this thing out. Forget deactivating it, we've gotta cut it out."

"That's not a simple task; it's on the back of your neck, if anything goes wrong-"

"It could damage my brain? I already can't remember my life."

"That's not the worst it could do."

"I know, but I need my life back, and I trust you. There must be something in here that we can use to extract this thing." He watched as she stood motionless, just staring at him, a crease in her brow. "What?"

"Harry, I would do just about anything for you."

"But not this?"

"Not if I'd be risking your life. I can't risk losing you to this; you can't expect me to just cut the implant out."

He gathered her face in his palms, closing the little remaining space to kiss the bridge of her nose. "That's not what I meant, of course not; not just with a knife. I wouldn't do that to you, I love you. I'm sorry for worrying you, I didn't mean to."

"I know, but however we do this has to be safe."

Harry nodded. "It's tiny, right? That's what he said. So, if Mr Smith can't do it remotely then what if we could fit something onto my head, my neck, that he can control precisely to vaporise or pull out this thing with a beam of some kind or whatever he can use. I don't know what he can do or what you have, but..." Within a few seconds all the excitement faded from him. "Please tell me you can do something."

Unable to resist, she pulled him into her arms, cradling his head in her palm. "It's okay, I've got you. And I think I know what we could use."

* * *

As the headset was lifted from Harry's head, the haziness dissipated, his memories becoming clearer every second until they were sharp and vibrant and filling his newly unburdened mind with the wonders of his life. And when he opened his eyes, there she was, his Sarah Jane, his wife.

He stepped forward, cupped her face in his hands, and softly pressed his lips to hers. " _Sarah_."

"Feel better?" She beamed, enjoying the intimacy of his forehead against hers.

"So much." Losing control over his joy, he wrapped his arms around her, clutching her against his chest and burying his face in her hair. "Thank you. Thank you so much, old girl."

She could feel him begin to shake, and then sob, and although she knew they were tears of joy, she began to rub his back in comfort. "That's alright. Harry, you are so so welcome. I love you."

"I love you too, and I never ever stopped, no matter what it might have looked like."

"Oh, believe me, it looked like you never ever stopped."


	8. Epilogue

"Sarah Jane, news update."

Sighing, she turned to look at the screen of the super computer, her fingertips toying with her hair to soften the curls. "Is it an emergency? Because otherwise, like I said, we've all got the night off."

"An initial vaccine has been developed for Alzheimer's disease. There are reports of it being celebrated prior to general release next week."

She froze as he brought an article up and the words of appreciation filled the monitor. All it took was the first few sentences to remind her how different things were the night she'd arranged the alert, the despair she'd felt. "That event is where we're going tonight, Harry and his team are the guests of honour."

"Sarah?"

The sound of her husband's voice brought the smile back to her face as she looked at the door.

"Sara—" he cut himself off as he opened it and saw her in the flowing blue dress. "You look beautiful. Are you ready? The kids are already in the limo, and we've still got to pick up Jade on the way."

Nodding, she crossed the room, cupping the back of his neck with both hands as she kissed him. "I'm so proud of you."

With his hands on her waist, he drew her against him. "And I'm so grateful for all your support. This is your victory too." Eager to return the gesture, he brushed his lips against hers, undeterred when she turned her head away from him. He just pressed the kisses to her cheek instead.

"Mr Smith? I don't need the updates anymore, you can cancel them. Thank you."

"'Mr Smith'," Harry chuckled, the heart-warming sound such a familiar companion to those words. Almost two years and it still didn't seem like he would ever take any less joy from the knowledge that she'd made the Xylok his namesake.

"Uh huh." She nodded, smiling into his mouth as she stole another kiss. "Because I love you, and you know it."

He grinned. "I love you too, Mrs Sullivan, so so much."

Beaming, she leant back in his arms, tweaked his already straight bow tie and smoothed her palms over the lapels of his dinner jacket. "Come on, you big softy, we don't want to be late now, do we?"


End file.
